He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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