Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
