they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
