sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Do vagina's smell?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Randomize
