This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
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