if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
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