she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
