Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Randomize