I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Randomize
