She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
