If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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