At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
