my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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