just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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