i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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