Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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