Who did Billy Mays play for?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
