Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
