That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
