She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
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