I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
