i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
