I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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