I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
