At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
