this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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