The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
