either way he was missing a nipple.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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