I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
The best revenge is premature balding
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
