Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
