Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Randomize
