that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
