3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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