dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Randomize
