xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
