i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
Randomize
