physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
