sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
