I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Let's get the cat blown out
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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