We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
