vagina is talking i cant
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
