It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well I just put wine in my tea
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
