the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
