she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
