...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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