If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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