I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
