I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
