So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
