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I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
