I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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