I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
