she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
