She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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