Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
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