I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
