2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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