sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Help. Why am I so naked?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
