It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
