I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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