Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
