Where are you?
In a non slutty way
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
