how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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