Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
