only if we run a train.
done.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
