i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Is it penis luge time yet?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
