youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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