apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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