dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
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